


Xiuhan Birthday Drabble Collection

by sparklepox (travelingpsycho)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 10:57:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 18,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6114379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/travelingpsycho/pseuds/sparklepox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Xiuhan drabbles I wrote for Minseok and Lu Han's birthdays last year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture. PG.](http://40.media.tumblr.com/c0daea03e1fcfc3f9b09c239f5027f0e/tumblr_nmmyjoO0yp1sf8xr6o3_1280.jpg)

Minseok’s never met anyone like Lu Han. Oh, sure, he has friends who are clingy. He has friends who pester him for attention even more than Lu Han does. But there’s clingy and demanding, and then there’s Lu Han, who just seems to always want to have Minseok around and be touching him when he is, like he takes comfort in Minseok’s presence and direct physical proof of it, in feeling their connection in his arms around Minseok.

Minseok doesn’t get it. He doesn’t mind touching people, but he doesn’t need it, especially not constantly and to the extent that Lu Han seems to want. At the beginning, when he didn’t even know Lu Han that well, he thought it was weird. It was strange in general how quickly Lu Han got attached to him, and it only made it stranger when he started literally attaching himself to Minseok. Minseok would pull away sometimes, laughing it off so as not to hurt Lu Han’s feelings. Now, though, he’s stopped fighting it, and stopped really wanting to.

They’re at the airport today, waiting for a flight, and Lu Han is tired. Minseok is tired too—they all are—but Lu Han is drooping particularly badly. It’s kind of cute the way Lu Han gets when he’s this sleepy, all fuzzy-eyed smiles and gape-jawed yawns, flopping around like his limbs are weighted down.

Minseok’s not surprised when he feels Lu Han’s weight against his back, leaning into him. He’s a little more surprised when Lu Han’s chin falls onto his shoulder and then when his arms wrap around Minseok’s body, locking his own arms in place, but he doesn’t protest. The position is a little awkward, maybe, and it’s a little embarrassing that Lu Han is doing this much touching where anyone could see, without the excuse of fanservice, but it’s not enough for Minseok to bother resisting.

“’M sleepy,” Lu Han mumbles in his ear.

“Me too. Are you going to use me as your pillow while you sleep?”

“Yes,” Lu Han answers without hesitation. He doesn’t ask if Minseok minds, never seems to think to ask, but that’s fine because he doesn’t.

“Okay.” Minseok plants his feet more firmly to take Lu Han’s weight, but he also leans back onto Lu Han just a little. Lu Han snuggles closer in response, and though he didn’t ask for this, maybe Minseok takes some comfort in the assurance of Lu Han’s presence too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For [this picture](http://40.media.tumblr.com/d47f9eda2f3afdc411af57494d580766/tumblr_nmmyjoO0yp1sf8xr6o2_1280.jpg). R.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Lu Han's ge kink?

“It’s sweet how you take care of your little brother.”

“My—sorry?” Lu Han asks, startled. The woman’s speaking English so it’s understandable that he would be confused, but Minseok doesn’t think that’s the problem. Lu Han’s English is pretty good.

Minseok turns and smiles at the woman, his normal smile which he knows people find cute. “He’s a nice big brother, isn’t he? I’m lucky.” Lu Han chokes and Minseok can’t hide a smirk. He wonders what the woman thinks of that.

 

“You must have liked that, huh?” Minseok teases later that night, when they’re safely in their hotel room. “Getting mistaken for my big brother.”

He says the last part in English and Lu Han wrinkles his nose in distaste. “It’s weird in English,” he objects, whiny because they’re both naked and pressed up against each other on the bed. “Like I’m your real brother, which…”

“Is it better in Korean?” Minseok asks. Lu Han is too much fun to play with for him to let it go so easily. “Hyuuuung,” he drawls, though he can’t quite bring himself to do a high-pitched aegyo voice even to mess with Lu Han. “Fuck me, hyung.” Up close like this, he can feel Lu Han’s sharp intake of breath, the interested twitch of his cock that says this is working for him.

“Stop,” Lu Han pleads, like Minseok can’t tell exactly what this is doing to him, doesn’t already know that he likes it.

“Do you prefer Chinese?” Minseok presses. “Lu-ge~”

“Minseok,” Lu Han groans. “Just—”

“No, you just,” Minseok cuts in. “Come on, Lu-ge. Let’s see how well you can take care of me.”

Lu Han’s expression is still half pouty, but Minseok can see resolve settling in his eyes. Lu Han likes this, and Minseok thinks he’s going to like the result a lot. “All right,” Lu Han says, rolling them so Minseok’s on his back with Lu Han grinning down at him. He moves to the side so he can slide his hand down Minseok’s stomach, warm on Minseok’s skin. “Let’s see what I can do.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For [this picture](http://36.media.tumblr.com/4f0615b4463afc8918fb7cc7d3d09239/tumblr_nmmyjoO0yp1sf8xr6o4_500.jpg). PG-13.

_He has to be faking it_ , Minseok thinks, looking at Lu Han’s downcast eyes and shy smile, the faint blush staining his cheeks that only makes him more devastatingly beautiful. Minseok’s met a lot of old money rich kids like Lu Han (as opposed to himself, son of a family with new and therefore somehow less worthy money). They tend to be many things—spoiled, selfish, emotionally fucked up, great at lying—but not shy. Most of those rich kids Minseok met before would be flashing him a smirk now that said, _Of course you’ll be in my bed soon_ , but here is Lu Han, suddenly shy even though he talked to Minseok easily enough until now.

The worst thing is that if he is faking it, playing coy to get Minseok interested, it’s working. He looks so good, and as suspicious as Minseok is, he can’t help being intrigued. Still, if that’s what he’s doing, he deserves to get rejected as soundly as all those other rich brats who were so sure Minseok would fall into bed with them because they always got what they wanted. Minseok knows how to be polite, diplomatic, but he has little tolerance for these games when it comes to romance, or even just sex.

“You can drop the shy act.” Minseok cuts right to the point, but he regrets it a little when Lu Han looks up, wide eyed in surprise at first, then hurt for a moment before he covers it up with a more sheepish smile.

“I promise you it’s not an act.” If Lu Han is really faking at, he’s a better actor than anyone Minseok’s ever interacted with like this, looking embarrassed and earnest at the same time.

“I’ve known a lot of guys like you,” Minseok says, still not quite convinced. “Never a shy one. They were all very convinced they could have me easily, and they didn’t look anything like you.”

The flush on Lu Han’s cheeks darkens, if anything. “It’s just…I had a lot of fun talking to you before, you know. I’ve met a lot of guys too, at school and in parties like this, but none of them were like you.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Minseok asks. He’d thought himself pretty jaded by now, but it’s becoming harder and harder to doubt Lu Han, and if he’s sincere, then Minseok is more than a little intrigued.

“It’s good!” Lu Han hurriedly assures him. “It’s…like you said, people are so sure they can have anything, or they’re fake, and you’re…that is, I don’t think you are.”

Minseok has to smile. Lu Han’s definitely not like those other kids who thought themselves so smooth. “I don’t think I am either.”

Lu Han looks confused for a second, and then he laughs, which is gratifying considering that Minseok doesn’t fancy himself much of a joke teller. Only when he’s stopped laughing does he look at Minseok, meeting his eyes even though his cheeks are darker still and his ears are starting to turn red too. “I do want to…have you. But only if you want me.”

Minseok looks Lu Han up and down with deliberate slowness, partly to make Lu Han stew but more because he really enjoys the view, especially his strong hands and forearms exposed by his rolled up sleeves, and the hollow of his throat where his shirt is unbuttoned. Finally, he gets back up to Lu Han’s face and smiles. Lu Han breathes a sigh of relief even before Minseok says, “Yeah, I do. But let’s finish our drinks first.”

Lu Han practically beams in response, and Minseok wonders how he could have possibly doubted his sincerity. “Okay.” He holds up his glass and clinks it against Minseok’s. “Cheers!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this gifset](http://whyexowhy.tumblr.com/post/114902315240). PG-13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** mild jealousy issues

Jongdae doesn’t know yet. They agreed that it would probably a good idea to tell him (and the others too), but even though Jongdae is a good guy and Lu Han can’t imagine that he’d hate them just for being together, it’s still scary. There are no guarantees about how people will react to something like this.

So Jongdae keeps touching Minseok like he always has, which is to say a lot, not realizing that Minseok’s boyfriend is standing right on his other side. He doesn’t mean anything by it, probably, but it still bothers Lu Han to see Jongdae’s hand move lower and lower on Minseok’s chest without hesitation, like he has every right to touch him anywhere. He’s not sure if he’s jealous because Jongdae is touching Minseok and Minseok is his or just because he wishes _he_ could touch Minseok in public like that, that he could trust himself to do it without getting carried away, but one way or another, he’s definitely jealous.

Minseok doesn’t really get jealous, no matter who touches Lu Han or how, but he knows Lu Han does. He gives Lu Han a hard time for it when they’re alone, mostly teasing but occasionally getting a little annoyed, but he tries to be understanding. He doesn’t intentionally rile Lu Han up, and tries not to let other members get too carried away touching him when he knows what it does to Lu Han.

But still sometimes it ends up like this, with Jongdae casually touching Minseok and Minseok’s eyes darting over toward Lu Han to see his reaction. He can’t do anything but smile in cases like this, pretend he doesn’t care. Minseok knows what he’s thinking, though, and when he smiles at Lu Han, that makes him feel a little better.

Later, when they’re still somewhat in public but there isn’t a sea of cameras catching their every move, Minseok leans over to whisper in Lu Han’s ear, teasing but full of genuine promise, “Don’t worry. I’ll make it up to you later.” That makes Lu Han feel a lot better.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this gif](http://38.media.tumblr.com/d98adb1f9c42c4f1c7fcd5ef73708374/tumblr_inline_nbkmofK4o11rl1x22.gif). R.

Minseok knew as soon as he met Lu Han this morning that he was going to have him by tonight. Sure, the Chinese man is terribly good looking and he knows it underneath his surface shyness, knows he could have his pick, but Minseok could see from the moment their eyes met as they introduced themselves that if he wanted Lu Han, he could have him. It’s taken Minseok some time to grow into this confidence from his awkward childhood, but he knows by now that when it comes to people, he can easily get what he wants.

And he does want Lu Han, with his pretty face and nice body that his well-tailored suit shows off. He’s awkward, stumbling over his words, once even stumbling over his own feet, but in a charming sort of way, not too extreme. He’s better now that he’s relaxed after spending the better part of the day with Minseok. Minseok would like to see what he’s like when he relaxes more, when he’s too distracted by other things to be self-conscious.

More than that, he’d like to see just how nice that body of Lu Han’s looks without the suit. He’d like to see how Lu Han behaves in bed, if he’d spread his legs for Minseok easily or if he’d protest at first, say that he’s not really into guys, or just that he doesn’t bottom. Or maybe he’d be one of the rarer ones who can convince Minseok to switch, to ride them slow and steady or lay back and let them find out just how flexible he is.

He doesn’t try to hide his interest in Lu Han and he’s sure other people notice but not so sure Lu Han does. For all that he keeps staring at Minseok, he seems kind of oblivious. It’s cute, really, like he doesn’t understand what he’s seeing when Minseok undresses him with his eyes, doesn’t understand that he’s being seduced.

As the day winds down, Minseok turns to Lu Han and flashes him a calculated smile, that mix of cute and sexy-without-even-trying that he knows people love. “It’s not so late yet. How’d you like to come up to my room for another drink?”

Lu Han looks momentarily startled and then smiles back, bright and natural. “Sure!”

Minseok pulls out the stops at the end, resting his hand lightly on Lu Han’s back in the elevator, and leaving it there to guide him down the hall to his room. Lu Han doesn’t say anything, but he moves closer to Minseok as they walk. Minseok pulls away when they go inside, but once the door is closed, he fixes Lu Han with a blatantly flirty look, the kind that says, “I can’t wait to get those clothes off of you.”

It’d be hard for Lu Han not to understand what that expression means, but Minseok has to admit he’s still a little surprised at how quickly Lu Han gets it. His eyes dart down toward the ground and his cheeks turn a pretty pink, but then he looks up again and meets Minseok’s eyes. “That’s what I thought,” he says evenly.

Minseok lets out a surprised laugh, even as he moves closer to Lu Han and plants a hand on his chest, underneath his jacket. “I was wondering if it was really possible for you to be innocent enough to not notice me hitting on you.”

“It took me a while,” Lu Han admits sheepishly. “And then I thought maybe I was projecting.”

“Nope.” Minseok leans in dangerously close as he shakes his head, both hands on Lu Han’s chest now. “I’ve been wanting to get you out of this suit all day,” he purrs. “What do you say we get started on that?”

Lu Han looks steadily back at Minseok as he reaches up with one hand to tug his tie loose, tossing it aside. Then he reaches for Minseok’s tie and uses it to tug him in for a kiss. They don’t bother with any shy pecks, lips parting immediately, tongues coming out to taste each other’s mouths. It’s not what Minseok was expecting from Lu Han, but he’s definitely not complaining.

By the time they break apart, they’re both breathless, but Lu Han manages a slightly shaky smirk. “Okay,” he says, as if there’s any question remaining about what he wants. “Let’s get on that.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/pashoshi/777979/1026674/1026674_original.jpg). PG.

There’s no question in Lu Han’s mind that Minseok is the best thing that ever happened to him. He had no idea it would go like this when he saw Minseok for the first time, an eighteen-year old still growing out of his baby fat and into his self-confidence, doing homework by the window in Lu Han’s (very new) favorite coffee shop, at one of the only tables with an empty seat.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” Lu Han asked. He was shy and uncertain, but Minseok just smiled easily and gestured for him to go ahead.

That was almost ten years ago, and sometimes Lu Han wonders what his life would be like if he’d asked someone else to share a table or left the shop for somewhere less crowded, but he can’t even imagine it. Minseok is too inextricably tied into Lu Han’s life since then, too much a part of everything. And even if he could wrap his head around it, he doesn’t want to imagine life without Minseok.

They spent four years as just friends, all through university, until Lu Han would call Minseok his best friend without hesitation. Minseok didn’t throw around that phrase as much, but he never gave Lu Han reason to doubt that he thought the same, opening up to him about everything and always being there when Lu Han needed him.

They lived together after graduation and Lu Han spent a good six months falling in love with Minseok before he realized what was happening. Then he spent another year and a half trying to suppress his feelings, to make them disappear so he could go back to being just friends with Minseok. It didn’t work, and in retrospect Lu Han is grateful for that, but at the time, it hurt.

Minseok had a girlfriend then, and he told Lu Han one night that she’d been hinting at wanting to get married. “I’m not ready for that,” Minseok said. “We’re still young, and I’m not even sure if I…” He stopped there, and Lu Han still remembers the way Minseok glanced at him, unsure, almost like he wanted Lu Han to say something. He remembers, too, the surge of hope he felt despite his best efforts to tamp it down, and the way he was too scared to take the chance.

It wasn’t until a few months later, after Minseok had broken up with his girlfriend, that he sat Lu Han down one afternoon, unsmiling and fidgety, like he was nervous. “I asked my mom before,” he started, “about the whole getting married thing. She said…a lot of things, but one thing stuck in my head. She said that if you’re going to marry someone, it’s not enough just to be attracted to them, or even to love them. You should be friends if you’re going to spend the rest of your lives together.”

Lu Han stared at him, hardly daring to hope as Minseok continued, “She said…that if you’re really lucky, the person you marry will be your best friend. And I didn’t think…right away, I thought of you. Not even a delay, just right away.” Minseok looked at Lu Han, tense from nerves but meeting his gaze steadily. “And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that if there’s anyone I could imagine spending the rest of my life with, it’s you.”

“Are you proposing to me, Minseok?” Lu Han asked, a joke that came out more serious than he intended.

“No no no!” Minseok hastily backtracked, waving his hands in panicked denial, then fanning his cheeks the adorable way he did when he got embarrassed. “I just mean that…I’m interested in you. And if you’re interested—”

“Yes,” Lu Han cut him off, half joking and half too eager to wait. “I’m interested.”

Minseok smiled, hesitant at first and then widening. “Good.”

Three years later, when Minseok actually did propose, Lu Han laughed and told him that his dating proposal had been more romantic, but he couldn’t tease convincingly while smiling as wide as his cheeks would let him.

And now here Lu Han is, fourteen hours away from doing exactly what Minseok’s mom said lucky people get to do and marrying his best friend, and it’s almost embarrassing how happy he is about it. “Are you nervous?” Minseok asks as they get ready for bed.

“Not really.” Lu Han’s a little worried about whether the ceremony will go smoothly, whether their relatives who disapprove of their relationship but not enough to stay away will keep their mouths shut, but he’s not nervous. People warned him about last-minute jitters, niggling doubts at the eleventh hour, but there’s none of that, only a calm, happy certainty that he’s doing the right thing. “Are you?”

Minseok shakes his head and flashes Lu Han a happy smile that says he feels the same. He comes over and catches both of Lu Han’s hands, leaning in for a quick kiss. “Did you ever think when you sat down with me at that coffee shop that we’d end up here?”

“Not for a second,” Lu Han answers, grinning. “Do you regret it?”

Minseok grins right back at him. “Not for a second.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture](http://36.media.tumblr.com/c5706ff2de854c0fabefa40b0956c32e/tumblr_nmp3g3ivS21sf8xr6o5_500.jpg). PG-13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** high school students kissing

It’s probably not a good idea to be making out in a hallway, even if it’s a unlit hallway in a part of the school that’s not in use this year. They’re not even supposed to be here, let alone be making out here where anyone could find them. It’s a bad idea, but it doesn’t stop them, because they’ve been sitting in classes together all morning trying not to stare at each other, and if they’re going to survive the afternoon, they need some release.

They haven’t been at this for long, this thing that they haven’t defined yet but which involves a lot of staring at each other and making out when they can get some privacy. It’s because it’s so fresh that they can’t get enough of each other, can’t make it through a school day without hiding in a bathroom or out by the soccer field or in a hallway like this to kiss until they forget to breathe.

They haven’t done anything more than kiss yet, and Lu Han thinks about it sometimes, mostly when he’s alone and touching himself, but right now, at least, he’s happy just to kiss. Minseok has him pressed up against the wall, one hand cupping the back of Lu Han’s head to protect him after he banged it into the wall earlier. Lu Han has his arms around Minseok’s waist, hands fisted in the back of his shirt.

They’re a little sloppy, too enthusiastic and not experienced enough, but Lu Han doesn’t care. This is perfect, he thinks: Minseok’s wet lips sliding against his, his tongue slipping in to taste Lu Han’s mouth, his hand holding Lu Han close while the other one bleeds warmth through his shirt onto his side. Minseok is so close and Lu Han wants to pull him closer still, until they’re pressed up against each other so he can feel the entire length of Minseok’s body.

Neither of them hears the footsteps approaching and only Minseok hears the janitor ask, “What are you doing here?” so Lu Han is confused when he pulls away abruptly.

“We, um…” Minseok licks his reddened lips, then lifts a hand to cover them, as if the janitor hasn’t already seen them kissing. “Nothing.”

Lu Han should be embarrassed. He should be worried that they’ll get in trouble, either for being in an off-limits place or for being two boys kissing in the middle of a school day. He should try to say something to the janitor, or at least _look_ at him. But he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from Minseok, his fingers just brushing his slick, red lips.

“You know this place is off limits,” the janitor says gruffly. “Get back to your classroom.” Thankfully, he doesn’t comment on just what they were doing in this place.

Minseok grabs Lu Han’s arm to drag him along when he forgets to move, hurrying out of the hallway and into the part of the school they’re allowed to be in and right into a bathroom. There’s one guy in there, washing his hands, but they ignore him. Their eyes meet and for just a second Lu Han is worried that Minseok’s upset, that he’ll want to stop this thing, but then they both burst out laughing almost simultaneously (earning a strange look from the other guy before he hurries out).

Minseok drops his head to Lu Han’s shoulder, shaking as he continues laughing. “What were you doing? You were just staring at me like there wasn’t this creepy old janitor watching us.” He’s not angry, more like he finds the whole thing hilarious.

“Your lips were distracting,” Lu Han says more quietly, since Minseok’s ear is close to his mouth.

Minseok lifts his head again, still grinning, and pats Lu Han on the shoulder. “Well, you can get distracted by them some more later, when we have more privacy.”

“Sounds good.” Lu Han licks his lips without thinking about it and this time Minseok is the one who stares like he can’t look away. Lu Han likes the way it feels, having Minseok’s eyes on him like that.

Minseok glances around the bathroom briefly to make sure they’re alone, then leans in for one brief kiss, his hand lingering on Lu Han’s shoulder for a moment after. “I can’t wait.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this gif](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/pashoshi/777979/1026086/1026086_original.gif). NC-17.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** a tiny bit of dirty talk

It starts with Lu Han’s fingers splayed over his hips one too many times in practice sessions. It’s a hard move, balancing Minseok on Tao’s feet, if not quite as hard as Lu Han on top of Jongdae. They have to practice it a lot of times.

At first, Minseok’s mind is on the task at hand. He’s worried about falling (which he does a few times), or about hurting Tao. He’s worried about losing his balance, or making what should be a cool move look silly. Focused on that, he doesn’t think about the touch of Lu Han’s hands as he helps him up or keeps him steady.

But once he does notice, he can’t stop thinking about it. Lu Han’s hands are bigger than his, strong fingers covering his hips, pressed into sensitive skin over bone. His thumbs are at the top of Minseok’s ass and his wrists against Minseok’s thighs, and he must have quite a view back there, even if Minseok wears loose pants that probably don’t do much for his unremarkable-in-the-first-place ass.

It’s all too easy to imagine Lu Han’s hands on him like this in other circumstances, holding gently as they kiss, helping Minseok balance as he rides Lu Han, or gripping bruisingly tight as Lu Han fucks him from behind. Maybe even in almost the same position as now, Lu Han leaning just a little bit forward to press his mouth between Minseok’s spread legs, licking his way into Minseok’s body. It’s not the kind of fantasies Minseok usually indulges in, but for Lu Han, after this, he might make an exception.

They haven’t done anything like that before. They haven’t done anything at all, though Minseok wants it and he knows Lu Han wants it, and he’s pretty sure Lu Han knows he does too. It’s like they’re waiting for that dam to break, for something to push them over the edge, over the line between just friends and whatever having sex would make them. Minseok’s starting to wonder if it’ll ever happen or if they’ll just stay like this forever, a simmering pot that never boils over.

He’s not sure what the final straw is. Maybe it’s that Minseok’s pants are a little tighter today, or that Lu Han holds on a little more firmly. Maybe they’re both particularly horny today. Maybe it’s just something in the air. Whatever it is, when Minseok jumps down from his position and his eyes briefly meet Lu Han’s, he feels the electricity between them and knows that this is finally it.

An hour later sees them locked in a bathroom together, kissing frantically and tugging down pants and underwear to get their hands on each other as quickly as possible. “What do—?” Lu Han tries to ask between kisses, but Minseok doesn’t wait for him to finish.

“Fuck me,” he breathes against Lu Han’s lips. “Your fingers have been driving me crazy and I need them in me now.” It’s bolder than he usually is, but he likes the gasp it gets from Lu Han, and the shiver of desire that accompanies it.

And he likes it even better when Lu Han presses one strong finger and then another into him, fast but so good. Lu Han’s other arm is wrapped around him, fingers on Minseok’s opposite hip, and Minseok is glad of that because he’s unsteady on his feet, wanting to melt into Lu Han. “Hurry,” he gasps (it’s not begging if they really have a time limit). Lu Han obliges, adding a third finger and moving his hand fast, crooking his fingers just right until Minseok sees stars.

When Minseok turns around and spreads his legs to let Lu Han in, he doesn’t miss the way Lu Han’s hands settle firmly on his hips, fingers splayed out. He keeps them like that as he pushes into Minseok, pulling him back to meet each thrust. Minseok presses his mouth to his forearm where it’s braced against the wall, muffling the moans that escape him as Lu Han pounds into him, every thrust sending pleasure radiating down his nerves until he can’t think about anything else but Lu Han inside of him.

Lu Han comes first, with a cry muffled against Minseok’s skin, and he hardly stops to breathe before spinning Minseok around and dropping to his knees, hands on both hips again as he sucks Minseok down without hesitation. “Fuck,” Minseok groans out, and then he doesn’t say anything else for a while, until he comes hard with Lu Han’s mouth tight around him.

Lu Han’s grip on his hips loosens after he pulls off, and Minseok sinks to the ground next to him, leaning in for a more leisurely kiss. “Why didn’t we do that sooner?” he asks, surprised when his voice breaks.

Lu Han chuckles, also a little raspy. “I don’t know, but let’s do it again soon.”

Minseok doesn’t even have to consider before he answers, “Definitely.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture](http://36.media.tumblr.com/a63f1de834ecd14ffc9ef25718184761/tumblr_nmp3g3ivS21sf8xr6o8_1280.jpg). PG.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** extremely vague implications of homophobia

When they first started dating, it made Minseok nervous, Lu Han touching him in a public. Even touches that could be passed off as friendship made him worry that everyone would know just by looking at them, and what kind of guy friends hold hands as they walk around? (Some of his, actually, but Minseok has some awfully touchy friends.) But Lu Han loved to grab Minseok’s hand or wrist to pull him along, whether he needs to or not.

It wasn’t the contact that Minseok minded, Lu Han’s fingers around his wrist or his palm against Minseok’s. It wasn’t even Lu Han dragging him around, since he got used to that long before they actually got together. It was just that it scared him, thinking that anyone could look at them and know they were together, and judge them for it without even knowing them.

It was bad enough the way Lu Han looked at him, with those stars in his eyes that made Minseok happy and embarrassed and overwhelmed all at the same time. It was bad enough wondering if it was written all over his own face how much he liked Lu Han already, there for anyone to see. He didn’t need Lu Han trying to hug him, hold his hand, stand too close all the time.

He pulled his hand away a few times at first, trying to ignore the startled disappointment that flashed in Lu Han’s eyes, but Lu Han just kept trying, like touching Minseok was a reflex he couldn’t control. Very soon, Minseok gave up trying to stop him. It still made him nervous, but it wasn’t worth upsetting Lu Han trying to get him to stop. Besides, he didn’t really mind _that_ much.

Now that they’ve been together for a while, Minseok barely notices half the time. Lu Han’s hand in his feels so familiar, expected. He still wonders occasionally if people notice, and if so, what they think. Do they realize what they’re seeing or just assume that they’re close friends? Do they think it’s cute or condemn them to hell just like that? What do they assume from the way Minseok lets Lu Han pull him along?

He wonders, but he’s realized that he doesn’t care. If it makes Lu Han happy to hold his hand, what difference does it make what anyone else thinks of them? And the other thing Minseok has realized is that while it’s not something he seeks out, maybe it makes him happy too, because holding Lu Han’s hand feels like the most natural thing in the world.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this gif](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/pashoshi/777979/1026985/1026985_original.gif). R.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** mild body image/weight issues)

Minseok spent his entire adolescence thinking of himself as chubby. He was never bullied, not really, but he was teased, just enough to never let him forget it. He didn’t dwell on it constantly because he’s not that kind of person, but it was there in the back of his mind, the thought that no one would ever be interested in a shy, chubby, not particularly good looking kid like him. Maybe that was true or maybe it was just a self-fulfilling prophecy, but nobody ever was interested in him back then.

He’s gained some confidence in himself and his appearance by the time he meets Lu Han, realized that there are actually people who will be interested in him even if he’s not tall and lean-muscled and perfect looking, but those thoughts still lurk in the back of his mind, ready to come out in a weak moment.

This is one of those weak moments, as he sits across from Lu Han in a cafe. This is their third date, which is enough for Minseok to realize that Lu Han’s nowhere near as perfect as he looks. Still, he looks damn near perfect, with his hair bleached to a golden brown and his perfect face and his very nice body that Minseok’s looking forward to seeing more of. It’s enough to make anyone feel insecure.

It’s not something Minseok has ever breathed a word of to anyone, so there’s no reason Lu Han should know. There’s no reason for Lu Han to read anything into the way Minseok doesn’t order any sweets with his coffee, even after Lu Han asks him if he’s sure he doesn’t want any cake. It’s better that way; Minseok doesn’t want Lu Han to know.

But while Lu Han isn’t perfect, there’s something terribly sweet about him, something so earnest in his happy smiles and enthusiastic conversation. He probably doesn’t know what’s bothering Minseok, maybe isn’t even consciously aware that there’s anything bothering him, but it’s like he senses it and turns up his own brightness in response. He smiles wider, talks louder, looks at Minseok like he’d be content to never look at anything else, and it makes Minseok smile back without realizing it.

“Do you want a piece?” Lu Han offers after a while, gesturing at the brownie he’s been slowly working his way through.

It looks delicious, but even Lu Han’s smile isn’t quite enough to erase Minseok’s niggling insecurities. “No thanks,” he says lightly, like it’s nothing important.

For just a second, he thinks Lu Han notices that it’s not nothing, but he can’t be certain. “Are you sure?” Lu Han presses, holding out a piece. “It’s really good.”

“Not everyone can eat junk food and stay skinny like you, you know,” Minseok teases.

He’s not quite looking at Lu Han so he can’t see his reaction, but Lu Han immediately scoffs. “Please. You look great. You don’t need to worry about that.” He reaches his hand out further, and the brownie does look really good, so Minseok can’t resist. He eats it right out of Lu Han’s hand, and he can’t miss the way Lu Han stares as his fingers slip just past Minseok’s lips.

The brownie is indeed delicious, and the hunger in Lu Han’s eyes is even better, the clear indication that he wants Minseok just the way he is. If Lu Han wants Minseok badly enough to stare like he wants to eat him up, then there’s no reason to be insecure.

(They have sex for the first time that night and Lu Han’s lips roam all over Minseok’s naked body, murmuring distractedly about how amazing he looks, like he’s not even thinking about his words. “What are you saying?” Minseok mutters, cheeks flushing, but as cheesy as it is, it really does make him feel amazing.)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this gif](http://31.media.tumblr.com/226b55ce3c4eba40232426856fc93413/tumblr_mx86n6NyWV1qlrfc5o4_250.gif). PG-13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** extremely vague past illness/injury

Minseok looks better in the sun, out of the harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital. He’s getting better, Lu Han knows (thankfully, finally), but indoors, against lifeless white sheets and too-bright lights, it’s easy to forget, and easier still to doubt. Minseok is still pale in the sunlight, still thin, still tired, but he looks alive. He looks, to Lu Han’s immense relief, like he’ll stay alive.

It’s been difficult. For Minseok most of all, of course, but for Lu Han too, watching Minseok suffer and not knowing when or how it would end, trying to stay strong and not show how scared he was. It was the hardest thing Lu Han’s ever done, but it’s over now. It’ll take time, but Minseok’s going to recover, and Lu Han keeps reminding himself of that when he starts feeling scared again of losing him.

They only walk around a little, but Minseok falls asleep on Lu Han’s shoulder, worn out by the mild exertion. Lu Han lets him rest for a while, figuring he needs it, but he’s spent too many hours watching Minseok like this, eyes closed, watching the rise and fall of his chest and the beeping monitors to make sure that he was really still alive. Even though he can feel Minseok breathing, he can’t push down the fear for long.

“Hey,” he says softly, not wanting to startle Minseok, but there’s no response. “Minseok,” he tries again, a little louder.

Minseok’s eyes flutter open slowly and he blinks against the sunlight. “What?” he asks sleepily.

“I…” Lu Han stops, not wanting to admit the truth, that he was just scared. “Nothing.”

Minseok looks at him for one long moment, then puts his head back down on Lu Han’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, but doesn’t say for what. Before Lu Han can protest, he adds, “And thank you.”

Lu Han swallows past the lump in his throat because he doesn’t want to cry, not now when things are finally getting better. Instead, he says, “I love you,” pressing a kiss into Minseok’s hair.

“Good.” Minseok’s response is mumbled, like he’s about to fall back asleep. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”

Lu Han wraps his arm tighter around Minseok and thanks anyone who might be listening for making that the truth.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this (NSFW) gif](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/sparklepox/66014114/718/718_original.gif). NC-17.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** blowjob fantasies?

The only thing worse than having an unrequited crush on someone you work with and live with and spend almost every waking moment with is all of the above plus looking up to find your crush’s crotch practically in your face, in pants thin enough to show _everything_. Oh, sure, he’s seen Minseok in less, in their dorms or shared hotel rooms or while changing backstage, but not _this_ close, not with Minseok’s hips arching forward as he stretches to bring him even closer.

It’s terrible and Lu Han should look away, but he’s so weak when it comes to Minseok, and this is just taking unfair advantage of that. He can’t do anything but stare. Worse, he can’t help but think about being in a similar position with a lot more privacy, somewhere where he could move closer and put his mouth on Minseok over his pants, kiss up the length of his cock and feel him get hard, straining against the tight fabric.

He thinks about pulling Minseok’s pants down and off, biting at his thighs before coming up to lick at the head of his cock, teasing it with his tongue. He wonders how long Minseok would let him get away with that, if he’d plead for or demand more, if he’d push Lu Han where he wants him or pull him up to kiss and touch instead. Assuming, of course, that Minseok would let Lu Han do any of this, which is assuming a lot given the unrequited part of this crush thing.

Then Minseok looks down at him, and scratch that: the absolute worst thing is having your unrequited crush’s crotch practically in your face, making your mind go dangerous places, and then having him catch you staring. Lu Han freezes, probably turning red, but he can’t seem to force himself to look away, to laugh and pretend it’s nothing. Instead, he keeps staring, as Minseok frowns in confusion for a second before he realizes what Lu Han is looking at.

He quickly stands up straight, bringing his legs together and tugging his shirt down. “You should’ve said something,” he mutters, and Lu Han’s confused to realize that he seems embarrassed but not upset or disgusted or anything like that. Did he not notice the way Lu Han was looking at him?

Lu Han’s just starting to think that maybe he got away with it this time when Minseok kneels on the grass beside him. “Are you that interested in what you saw?” he whispers, teasing, all his embarrassment gone.

Lu Han chokes. “I, um, that is, I…”

But Minseok just laughs, clearly not minding, and Lu Han realizes that maybe his crush is not all that unrequited after all. “If we make it through today, I’ll let you have a better look, okay?” The smirk that accompanies his words makes it clear what he’s promising. “As close as you want.”

Lu Han swallows hard, trying to remind himself that he’s in public and can’t afford to be too turned on. Once he’s found his self-control, he flashes Minseok a smirk of his own. “Okay. I think you’ll like the way I…look.”

Minseok laughs louder this time, earning them curious glances from the people around them. “I think I will,” he agrees, patting Lu Han on the shoulder. “I’m looking forward to it.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture](http://i.imgur.com/s1Bm9ZB.jpg). R.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning:** semi-public sex, demon!Lu Han
> 
> **Note:** This drabble exploded into a full fic, so if you want to read that instead, [go here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4043713)

Lu Han is temptation in a prim white shirt and attention-grabbing red jacket. He looks so innocent with his pretty face and most of his skin covered, much too innocent and overdressed for the club they’re in, but he smiles (innocent-looking too) at Minseok and introduces himself as “lesser demon Lu Han.”

Minseok laughs, of course, because that’s ridiculous. There’s no such thing as demons. But Lu Han doesn’t laugh, doesn’t take it back, just blinks in confusion like he has no idea what’s funny, and Minseok’s laugh dies in his throat.

Lu Han proves it to him after that, just little things, no eating of souls or anything similarly terrible. (That he does laugh at when Minseok brings it up. “I wouldn’t do anything so extreme. That’s for the greater demons, and they haven’t been around for centuries.”) But he provides enough little demonstrations for Minseok to believe that Lu Han really is what he says he is.

A sensible person would probably run the other way, whether Lu Han was actually a demon or just someone deluded enough to really believe he was. Minseok’s always been a reasonably sensible person, but maybe not so much anymore, in his delayed rebellious phase. Maybe there’s a bit of darkness in him these days that’s drawn to Lu Han for what he is rather than in spite of it.

And he is very much drawn to Lu Han. It’s partly the way he looks, always the same and always so perfect that it’s easy to believe it must be demon magic. But it’s more than that, an ineffable something that Minseok supposes must be related to being a demon too. Whatever it is, it pulls him in despite his better judgment, makes him want Lu Han so badly he doesn’t know what to do with it.

“If you don’t eat souls or kill people, what do you do?” he asks Lu Han a few weeks after their first meeting. They’re in the same club again, standing against the wall to talk.

“There are other things I can take from people,” Lu Han says with a lazy smirk. “Things they don’t mind giving.”

“What, do you drain people’s souls through sex or something?” Minseok’s just drunk enough for the words to slip out too easily, without thinking about how strange it is.

Lu Han chuckles, barely audible over the music even though he’s standing very close. “What is your obsession with souls?” He leans in even closer to murmur right in Minseok’s ear, “The only thing I want to take from you is pleasure.”

It sounds like a stupid line, the kind of thing that would never work on Minseok normally, but something snaps inside of him and next thing he knows, he’s turning his head to meet Lu Han’s lips, grabbing his jacket with both hands to pull him close as he dives into a fierce kiss. Lu Han responds without hesitation and it’s only just kissing, only just started, but Minseok’s knees go weak already, his body burning with desire. Is Lu Han doing something to him or does he just want it that badly?

Either way, he lets Lu Han drag him outside, to a darkened alcove that’s empty of people but much more public than Minseok would normally accept. The night air is cool, but Lu Han is so warm and Minseok is too, warm all over as Lu Han divests him of his pants. This is so not like him, semi-public sex with someone he barely knows and should probably be afraid of, letting someone else take control so easily, but _fuck_ , he wants it.

Lu Han stretches him open quickly, almost too rough, biting and sucking marks onto Minseok’s neck as he does, then hefts him up against the wall like Minseok weighs nothing and promptly thrusts in deep. Minseok cries out at that, which isn’t like him either, but it feels so good, so impossibly good. He forgets himself completely as Lu Han rocks into him, forgets what Lu Han is and where they are and everything except how Lu Han feels inside of him and the feverish arousal it ignites in him.

He comes with his face buried in the crook of Lu Han’s neck, the wall rough through his thin shirt as he writhes against it, utterly lost in the rush of pleasure. Lu Han groans in his ear as he comes almost simultaneously and somehow that makes it worse (or better), makes Minseok’s orgasm seem to last forever, until he barely remembers to breathe. By the time it passes, he feels spent in the best way, slumping heavily against Lu Han, who bears his weight easily.

“You see?” Lu Han murmurs, making no move to pull away. “I don’t want anything from you that you wouldn’t eagerly give me.” His voice drops lower. “Again and again.”

Minseok lets out a low groan at Lu Han’s words, a shudder running through his body that makes him think he might be up for a second round very soon.

“Let me take you home,” Lu Han continues in the same tone, not really a request. He must know already that Minseok won’t say no. “I can do so much more.” He lets Minseok down with surprising gentleness, holding on to him when his legs threaten to buckle. When he pulls back enough for Minseok to see his face, he’s smiling that same seemingly innocent smile despite looking like sex on legs.

“I…” Minseok is standing in an alley with no pants on after letting a demon fuck him hard he has no idea how the hell he got here, but it’s not even a question that he wants more. “Yeah,” he says, drawing in a still-shaky breath. “Yeah. Take me home.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture](http://40.media.tumblr.com/ddbfcb02385eb6c0c18e51031779d45c/tumblr_nmp3g3ivS21sf8xr6o9_1280.jpg). PG.

It’s gold for Lu Han this time and silver for Minseok, but it may not be next time. They switch places so constantly that it’s become a running joke between them. Lu Han is very competitive, loves to win and hates to be anything less than number one, but if it’s Minseok who beats him, he doesn’t mind so much being second best.

The media loves them, talks endlessly about their friendly rivalry. Sometimes they try to make it into something it isn’t, speculate about bad blood between them, resentment. It makes Lu Han mad to see those articles, but Minseok just shrugs it off. “We know they’re wrong. Everyone who knows us knows they’re wrong. It doesn’t matter what they say.” Then he grins and elbows Lu Han in the ribs. “Unless you secretly do hate me and you’re worried that they’ll expose your secret.”

But Lu Han doesn’t hate Minseok, and everyone knows that, probably even the reporters who spin those stories about them. They are rivals, he supposes, but it doesn’t feel like that to him. It feels like it’s him and Minseok against the world, pushing each other to get better, fighting to stay at the top of the pack together. More than that, having Minseok there in every competition makes it fun, makes him forget his nerves and just enjoy himself.

He tells Minseok that once, as they celebrate after another victory (Minseok in first place this time, but he was amazing and Lu Han’s really proud of him). “All of this, I wouldn’t like it nearly as much without you.”

“Yeah?” Minseok’s grinning, still riding the high of his earlier win.

“Yeah,” Lu Han confirms, grinning back. “I wonder why that is, why I’m still happy even if you win.”

“I wonder.” Minseok, still grinning, leans forward and kisses Lu Han so easily even though this is the first time, like there’s no doubt in his mind that Lu Han wants it too.

And he does want it, he finds, because like everything else, if it’s with Minseok, he’s happy. It’s as simple as that. Minseok starts to look a little doubtful as the seconds tick by in silence, but then Lu Han beams at him. “I guess that might be part of the reason,” he says, reaching out to pull Minseok closer.

Minseok smiles widely, relieved and happy. “You think so?” he teases, but Lu Han just laughs and answers him with another kiss.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture](https://b5386d3c52c44442e8ddbf8d28e3bb3cae0d7762-www.googledrive.com/host/0B3wZQR9Dj96YUTgtVkM4RDBObjA). PG-13.

It’s been five years but they still haven’t quite gotten the hang of blending in with humans. They can talk like them, mostly, and follow their customs well enough that nobody questions them, but dressing like them seems to be the most difficult. Despite their intentions to fit in, they never quite seem to manage.

“It’s because humans are all so different,” Lu Han protests when Minseok points it out. “They all dress so differently. How are we supposed to know what’s normal? Besides, I like dressing like this.”

“I like it too,” Minseok admits with an indulgent smile. He likes his own style, politely described as “quirky,” and he likes Lu Han’s too, likes seeing him in a mix of colors and patterns. It reminds him of their home, of brightly-colored silks and Lu Han’s wings with those ever-shifting fractal patterns that would mesmerize Minseok for hours.

Minseok misses home terribly sometimes, his family and his friends and the food and the music and everything, really. He misses Lu Han’s beautiful wings and his own too, the delicate weight of them on his shoulders, and letting them lift him off the ground. He misses belonging effortlessly, misses not having to think about blending in.

But he doesn’t regret it for an instant. He may not have his wings or his family here, but he has Lu Han, his to love as much as he wants, and no fear of anyone taking him away. He’s sacrificed what he is, his whole life, but that’s a small price to pay for Lu Han. He’s reminded of that every day as he gets to see Lu Han, touch him, kiss him, hold him and not let go.

They never talk about it because that’s not something their kind does, put their feelings into words the way humans like to do. Their kind isn’t even supposed to have these feelings. Still, it’s there, loud and clear, in every touch, in Minseok’s arms around Lu Han’s neck and Lu Han’s hands over his to hold him there, in Lu Han’s arms tight around him before they fall asleep, in gentle kisses and burning touches that are no longer forbidden for them. That’s the language of their affection, their commitment to each other against all odds.

“I love you,” Lu Han says one day, after five years when maybe the humans they’re surrounded by have rubbed off on them more than they realize. It’s hesitant, a little stilted, like he’s speaking a language he doesn’t know very well, and he smiles shyly at Minseok after. “I just wanted to try saying that. I love you.”

They’re in bed, naked and spent and tangled together, and Minseok smiles as Lu Han hugs him closer, an echo of his words. “I love you too,” he says. The words feel strange in Minseok’s mouth, but he thinks he likes the way they taste.

More than that, he likes the way Lu Han beams in response, bright and happy and reminding Minseok of when he first fell in love with Lu Han without knowing what that meant. “I love you,” Lu Han says one more time, as if he needs to, and Minseok kisses him and thinks that if he had to make the decision again, Lu Han or his home, Lu Han or anything, he’d choose Lu Han without hesitation.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/sparklepox/66014114/983/983_original.jpg). PG-13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** implications of sexual slavery

They come as a matched set, two for the price of two, but you can’t separate them. It’s standard operating procedure for buying clones like them, and while the actual reason has been lost in the depths of history, the Keepers joke that it’s to keep them from getting lonely. After all, the type of person who tends to buy a pair of clones is usually both rich enough to afford them and too busy to find companionship in a more traditional manner. That can mean a lot of time alone. More than that, some owners can be rough, overly demanding. In those cases, it’s better to split the damage out over two, extend their shelf life.

Xiumin doesn’t know any of that. All he knows is that he was raised in isolation with a group of boys like him, exactly like him, though some were older and others younger. He didn’t have a name, only a designation, X-M-9, for his type, the year of his creation, and his place in the order for that year. Only when he came of age was he given a name, different from all the others, dressed in clothes the Keepers chose for him, and put on display with his pair clone, Luhan.

They spend a week on display in preparation for the next auction, standing still and perfect the way they were trained. They don’t talk, don’t even look at each other because the poses they were given don’t allow it, but Xiumin doesn’t think anything of it at the time. He’s a clone; thinking, being curious is not something he’s ever learned to do.

At auction, they’re sold to a relatively young couple, a high-powered businessman and woman too busy with their separate jobs to spend much time together. They’re not the typical buyers at an auction, but Xiumin doesn’t know that either, and he doesn’t think about it. He only follows one of the Keepers away so that he and Luhan can undergo their final preparations and then be put to sleep for transport to their new home.

Their new home is large and opulent, though Xiumin and Luhan don’t see much beyond their room, their owners’ bedrooms, and the smaller dining room upstairs. Some owners like to show off their clones, but theirs aren’t like that, preferring to keep them locked away when they have no need for them. Xiumin doesn’t mind, because Xiumin knows nothing else and doesn’t have opinions anyway. He’s fine waiting in his room with Luhan until they’re needed.

He assumes Luhan is just like him, because why wouldn’t he be? He grew up just like Xiumin, with a designation like him (L-M-7), part of a crowd. He was born and raised for the same purpose and there’s no reason that he should be any different than all the other clones out there, unquestioning and content with their lot in life.

But Luhan _is_ different, Xiumin comes to realize, little by little. Luhan talks to him. Luhan smiles of his own accord, not just to please their owners. Luhan looks out of their windows again and again, as though the view might have changed overnight. Luhan greets the servants, even asks them questions sometimes. And Luhan looks at Xiumin, really _looks_ at him the way no one has for his entire life, like he sees Xiumin and not just one of many X-type clones, no different than any other.

Xiumin doesn’t understand it at all, especially when Luhan smiles at him like he likes what he sees, a sparkle in his eyes. He doesn’t understand, but it wakes something in him, curiosity so long dormant that he didn’t even know it was in him. For the first time he can remember, he wants to know why. He wants to understand why Luhan is different, why Luhan looks at him like that, what it means. He wants to know what Luhan feels that makes him smile genuinely, and what it would be like to feel that too.

For a long time, he doesn’t say a word about it, too confused to know what to do, but then one day, he catches Luhan looking at him like that again and he blurts out, “Why do you do that?”

“Do what?” Luhan asks innocently.

“Look at me.”

“Why shouldn’t I look at you?”

Xiumin wonders for a second if he’s misunderstood, but no, he can still see that sparkle in Luhan’s eyes. “You can look if you want, but you look…strangely.”

Luhan doesn’t deny it, smiling hesitant but steady. “I like looking at you. I like you.” Off Xiumin’s confused look, he adds, “Haven’t you ever liked anything before? Anyone?”

Xiumin tries to think, but while he knows the word, he can’t wrap his head around the feeling of liking something or someone. “I don’t know what that means,” he says flatly.

Luhan bites his lip briefly, another emotion Xiumin doesn’t really understand in his eyes, but then he smiles again. “You should try it. It’s nice.”

He makes it sound so simple, and Xiumin can’t believe that it is, but that curiosity that Luhan awoke in him makes him want to try all the same. He looks back at Luhan, really looks at him the way Luhan looks at him. He sees his pretty face and his smile and that sparkle in his eyes, and without understanding what he’s doing, let alone why, he feels his lips quirking into a smile.

He doesn’t get it and he feels something which might be fear lurking in the back of his mind as new things open up to him, but Luhan smiles more widely in response, really beams at him, and Xiumin knows that not only is it too late to take it back, but he doesn’t want to.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture](http://41.media.tumblr.com/27610386ce14980bff93c702442b2414/tumblr_nmp3g3ivS21sf8xr6o6_1280.jpg). PG.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** angst about having kids

Having kids is something they’ve never really talked about because of course it’s not physically possible, and even the chances of them being able to adopt are slim to none unless they move to a much more progressive country. More accurately, it’s something that’s come up vaguely, but they’ve never _talked_ about it, the capital T kind of Talk reserved for important decisions. There’s no point when it’s a decision that seems to have already been made for them.

Still, Minseok’s gathered that Lu Han used to want kids, before he fell head over heels in love with Minseok and never looked back. He knows Lu Han’s parents are still holding out hope for a grandchild or two even though Lu Han and Minseok have been together for seven years and counting and he’s not likely to marry a nice Chinese girl and have babies any time soon. And Minseok knows that Lu Han loves him, never doubts that for a second, but he does wonder, now and then, if Lu Han has any regrets about things that are out of their control.

He’s not thinking about that today, too busy corralling the daughter of an older friend of Lu Han’s that they agreed to babysit. She’s not too hard to deal with, but she’s got quite a mouth on her for such a little kid, and she seems to have it in for Lu Han. Minseok finds it hilarious, watching Lu Han alternately pout and die laughing as she picks on him. Lu Han’s usually great at charming members of the opposite sex, from little girls to old grannies, so it’s fun to see him try and fail so utterly.

It’s only later, when the girl is safely back with her parents and their apartment is back to its usual relatively quiet state, that Minseok thinks about how happy Lu Han looked, even getting mercilessly teased by a five-year-old. He was happy too, and he finds himself imagining what it would be like with a little boy or girl who was really theirs. Of course having children isn’t all fun and games, but still, the idea appeals more than he’d like to admit.

He doesn’t say anything, but Lu Han must be having similar thoughts because he asks, looking up from where he’s lying with his head pillowed on Minseok’s thigh, “Do you ever…?” He breaks off and bites his lip, hesitating, before he decides to barrel on, “Do you ever wish we could have kids?”

Minseok threads his fingers through Lu Han’s hair, an absent comforting gesture. “Yeah. Sometimes.”

“You’ve never said if you wanted them, before, like—” _Like I did_ is what Minseok knows is going unsaid, because Lu Han is always so careful not to hurt him.

“I never thought about it much,” Minseok admits, “but…I guess I kind of assumed it would happen someday, so I didn’t need to think about it.” Lu Han doesn’t say anything as Minseok continues carding fingers through his hair, so Minseok adds, mostly but not entirely joking, “It’s not too late for you to find a girl to marry and have kids with.”

The immediate look of horror that flashes over Lu Han’s face tells Minseok everything he needs to know, everything he already knew. “It’s not like that,” Lu Han protests unnecessarily. “I just…wish there was a way.”

Minseok looks down at Lu Han, at the wistful expression he probably doesn’t realize he’s making, and feels one of those embarrassing surges of affection for Lu Han that he still gets after all this time. “Maybe there is a way,” he finds himself saying. “Maybe we can find one, if we try.”

Lu Han’s eyes go wide. “Do you really mean that?”

Minseok has to stop and consider his answer, but only for a moment. “Yeah, I do.”

“Don’t…don’t do this just for me,” Lu Han says, but he can’t hide the hope in his eyes and his voice.

Minseok shakes his head. “I’m not.” He wants to make Lu Han happy, but it’s not only that, not even mostly that. The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes that this is something he wants too, if there’s a chance it’s possible.

Lu Han lifts his head suddenly, grabbing Minseok’s shirt to pull him down for a long, lingering kiss before he lets go and lies back down. He looks uncertain, happiness and fear and doubt passing over his expression in turn. “It’s…even if we find a way, it might—it’ll be hard. People won’t accept it. Can we—I mean, do we really want to do that to a kid?”

His eyes are unconsciously pleading with Minseok to contradict him, but he doesn’t need to. “Yeah, it’ll be hard,” Minseok concedes, “but a kid could do a lot worse than two parents who love each other and love her, or him.”

Lu Han looks a little more sure now, but only just barely. “But I don’t even know how it could work, and if we try and it’s impossible and we end up back where we started, it’ll just—”

“Lu Han,” Minseok cuts in. Lu Han breaks off and bites his lip again. “I know it’s scary,” Minseok says gently, his hand in Lu Han’s hair again. “And maybe it’s impossible, but if you really want something, don’t you think you should go for it no matter what?” He smiles. “That’s how you got me, isn’t it?”

Lu Han smiles back, a little weak, but genuine. “That’s true.”

“And you’ll still have me, whatever happens. We’ll be okay one way or another, together.”

Minseok cringes inwardly at the cheesy words, but it’s worth it for the way Lu Han’s smile widens and finally reaches his eyes, hesitation melting away. He leans into Minseok’s hand as it brushes down over his cheek and murmurs, more to himself than to Minseok, “That’s true.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture](http://40.media.tumblr.com/90a36b327a13f51c962289749dd464e2/tumblr_nmp3g3ivS21sf8xr6o3_1280.jpg). PG.

They’ve known each other their whole lives, practically since Lu Han was born not even a month after Minseok. It began as a publicity stunt, the monarchs of their respective countries (Lu Han’s father and Minseok’s grandmother) thinking that a friendship between the newest additions to their royal families would be a good way of demonstrating the positive relationship between their countries. It might have fizzled out after a time except that Lu Han and Minseok quickly became true friends, and whether for publicity or just out of fondness, their friendship was supported, indulged.

By now, they’ve visited each other’s countries many times, and traveled abroad together too. Lu Han spent two years in Korea, learning the language and customs and having a wonderful time with Minseok, then brought Minseok back to Beijing with him for two years together there. They’ve been back in their respective homelands for years now, but it doesn’t stop them from keeping in touch with visits and regular video calls in a strange mix of Korean and Mandarin that confuses everyone around them.

It’s all they’ve ever known, this easy friendship with someone who understands their position better than anyone else could, but Lu Han’s mother tells him once, with a softer smile than she usually shows him, that he’s lucky to have Minseok. “The Emperor was very isolated growing up. Even now, he has few if any true friends. You should treasure what you have.”

Lu Han repeats her words to Minseok when they talk a few days later, and Minseok smiles warmly. “She’s right, don’t you think? It’s nice to have someone who understands, and I don’t have to worry that you want something from me like other people might.”

“That’s what you think,” Lu Han retorts, but Minseok knows him too well to be taken in by his teasing.

And it’s true, really, even if the thought sometimes lurks in the back of Lu Han’s mind that there might be something he wants from Minseok beyond his friendship. He knows better than to go there, better than to let himself want things he can never have. Minseok is his best friend, someone he can talk to about anything but that and state secrets, and that’s enough. It’s best to just treasure what he has and not be greedy when some things are simply not possible.

 

Lu Han visits Korea for Minseok’s birthday the year he turns twenty-five (in Korean terms, so twenty-four to Lu Han). He’s one of many guests at the lavish party, so he keeps out of Minseok’s way after a formal greeting, but he stays in Seoul for another three weeks, partly for official purposes but mostly to let him catch up with Minseok. It’s like old times, almost, and on his last night there Lu Han even slips into Minseok’s bed the way he used to when he was fourteen and homesick.

They’re ten years older, but it’s easy to forget as he lies on his side to talk to a Minseok who still doesn’t look much older than fourteen. It’s easy, too, to forget how good Lu Han has gotten at being just friends with Minseok and, just after they say goodnight, to press the briefest of kisses to Minseok’s lips.

Minseok’s eyes are wide when Lu Han pulls back, but he doesn’t protest, doesn’t push Lu Han away from him. “What was that?” he asks instead, not sounding as surprised as Lu Han might expect.

Lu Han frowns and presses his lips together. “Happy birthday?” he says, trying for a joke.

Minseok worries his lower lip between his teeth, which really doesn’t help Lu Han not want to kiss him again. “Is it…? I mean, do you—?”

“I know it’s not possible,” Lu Han cuts in before it gets any more awkward. “I know you don’t…I just wanted to try this once, that’s all. Do you mind?”

Minseok thinks about it for only a moment before he shakes his head. He smiles, just a little, and says, “Goodnight, Lu Han.”

“Goodnight,” Lu Han tells him again. “Happy birthday.”

 

They don’t stop being friends after that, but it feels a little different, even if the awkwardness is probably mostly in Lu Han’s head. In time, the feeling starts to fade, but Lu Han gets a little worried when it’s agreed that Minseok will come to Beijing to celebrate Lu Han’s twenty-fifth birthday. He doesn’t say anything to Minseok because he doesn’t want to bring up that kiss if Minseok’s forgotten, but he does think about it a lot. When Minseok arrives, though, he’s all smiles, of course in public, but in private too, and Lu Han relaxes and just enjoys his company.

On Minseok’s last night, they stay up late, and at the end of it Minseok gets into Lu Han’s bed even though he’s never done that before, too stubborn to admit to homesickness. Lu Han determinedly doesn’t read anything into it, but when he looks at Minseok, he finds him looking back steadily, thoughtfully.

“I’ve been thinking,” Minseok says quietly. “About last year.” Lu Han listens warily, not knowing what to make of this. “You’re right that it’s not possible, and maybe it would be best to forget about it, but…I wanted you to know, I guess. That it’s not just you.”

Lu Han stares at him in shock. “You mean…?”

Minseok’s lips quirk into a little smile. “Yeah, I mean.” He leans in slowly to press his lips to Lu Han’s in a kiss that’s still hardly anything, but more lingering than last year’s. His smile when he pulls away is more wistful, bittersweet, but then the sadness fades. “This is it, okay? For this. But we won’t stop being friends, right? Even if we’re a century old instead of just a quarter.”

“Right,” Lu Han answers without hesitation, and he’s surprised to find that he doesn’t feel sad. Maybe this is what he needed to let these feelings go. “You’re never going to be able to get rid of me.”

He tackles Minseok in a hug and Minseok tickles him in revenge until they both laugh so hard that the guard outside the door bursts into the room to make sure they’re okay, and Lu Han thinks that this, even if it can never be anything more, is something he can treasure just as it is.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/sparklepox/66014114/1127/1127_original.jpg). PG-13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** wolf possesiveness?

When they’re in human form, it’s easy to assume that Lu Han is the dominant one in their relationship. He doesn’t dwarf Minseok like Chanyeol or Sehun do, but he’s noticeably taller and broader. It’s in the way he acts too, always so protective whether Minseok needs it or not. He wraps an arm around Minseok when they walk through crowds, stays between him and cars on the sidewalk, stands up to anyone who bothers Minseok whether he actually cares or not. He’s possessive too, quick to respond to any perceived threat to his claim on Minseok (which is to say just about anyone talking to or touching Minseok), ready to fight for him.

In wolf form, though, the situation is reversed. Minseok’s only a little bigger, but visibly stronger, and there’s something about the aura he gives off that says he’s not to be trifled with. He’s slower to fight than most strong wolves, not looking for trouble, but anyone who thinks him weak learns the error of their ways soon enough. Lu Han’s not weak either by any means, but when they’re like this, he almost always submits, and no one expects anything else.

That’s how things started between them. For four months after they first met, Lu Han chased after Minseok like an overzealous puppy, desperate for attention but not quite willing to make the first move, not sure if he was wanted. For four months, Minseok slowly gave in, acknowledging Lu Han as a friend but unsure if he was interested in more, until the next full moon.

That night, out under the bright moon, Yixing playfully pounced on Lu Han. Minseok knew perfectly well they were just friends, knew Yixing already had a mate, but instinct kicked in and next thing he knew, he’d tackled Yixing off of Lu Han with a growl that said _Mine_ as clearly as any word and rolled Lu Han onto his back, teeth bared and at his throat like he was ready to kill him instead of claim him.

For a long moment, everyone around them held their breaths, waiting to see what happened. Then, Lu Han slowly tipped his head back, exposing his throat to Minseok in a show of vulnerability, and in this case, trust. Minseok nipped lightly at the exposed flesh, just enough to acknowledge the gesture, and that was that. For wolves like them, nothing more was needed to establish that they’d found their mate.

So to their pack, at least, it’s no question that Minseok dominates, but it’s not quite so simple. In human form, Lu Han does his best to take care of Minseok, no matter how many times Minseok rolls his eyes at him or tells him it’s not necessary. In time, Minseok learns to tolerate it and even to like it. He doesn’t need protection, but he finds he likes the feeling of Lu Han’s arm around his shoulders. It’s comfortable to lean back against Lu Han’s broad chest as they stand together, to feel his heartbeat against Minseok’s back.

It’s even nice, every once in a while, to let Lu Han scoop him up in his arms like a child, to wrap his arms around Lu Han’s shoulders and press his face into Lu Han’s neck. Minseok isn’t afraid of anything, doesn’t need anyone to keep him safe, but that doesn’t change the fact that in Lu Han’s arms, he feels safer than any other time. More than that, he feels happy (if a little embarrassed sometimes), and most of all, at home.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture](http://36.media.tumblr.com/ba1b44f8d7f5b8498fa3bb24da79f24b/tumblr_nmp3g3ivS21sf8xr6o4_540.jpg). PG.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Lu Han’s fear of heights

Minseok’s a pretty well-behaved kid, but he’s only five and they’re up very early in the morning, so he can’t be blamed for crying when his mom almost forgets his favorite pillow for the plane ride. Minseok’s a big boy, but he doesn’t like going to strange new places full of strange new people. It’s much better if he has his favorite pillow. Luckily, they haven’t even left the driveway before he realizes it, so his mom can run inside to get it. After that, Minseok is quiet, cuddled up with his fluffy pink pillow in the backseat, and then carrying it with him through security and to their gate.

There’s another little boy waiting for the flight to Beijing, just him and his mom. He’s restless, running to the window to look at planes and then back to his mom, climbing onto the seats and off and back on again. When Minseok and his family sit down across from them, he looks over at them, and Minseok, shy, looks down and hugs his pillow tighter.

It takes a few times of the boy darting back and forth, a little closer each time, before he finally gets brave enough to poke the nose on Minseok’s pillow. He looks up and smiles at Minseok, somehow impish and shy at the same time. Minseok thinks strangers are a little scary, but he flashes a hesitant smile in return.

“Lu Han,” the boy says, and Minseok frowns in confusion at the unfamiliar sounds. The boy cocks his head, thinking, and then amends, “I’m Lu Han. I’m five.”

He’s speaking Korean, though it sounds a little strange to Minseok’s ears. “Me too,” he answers. “I’m Minseok.”

Lu Han’s mother is hovering apologetically, ready to pull him away if he’s being a bother, but when Minseok’s parents smile at the introductions, she relaxes. By the time they board, Lu Han and Minseok are good friends, sharing some gummy candies Lu Han’s mother gave him. It turns out they’re sitting in the same row, even, and Minseok waves at Lu Han from the opposite side of the plane. Lu Han’s sitting in the middle seat between his mother and Minseok’s, while Minseok has claimed the window seat.

When they take off, Minseok stares out the window, fascinated. It’s only his second time in an airplane and he was too young to remember the first time, so he’s excited to see the cars and buildings get smaller and smaller. His father, sitting next to him, cheerfully answers Minseok’s questions about how high they’re going to go and “What are those?” and “Will we see birds?”

By the opposite window, Lu Han is a lot less excited, to put it mildly. In fact, he’s crying borderline hysterically in spite of his mother’s efforts to quiet him. Minseok doesn’t notice right away, with the noise of the plane and so much else to look at, but once they’ve passed up above the clouds, he turns and sees his new friend having a meltdown. “Why is he crying?” he asks his father, frowning.

“I don’t know,” his dad says. “Maybe he’s scared.”

Minseok tries to get up to go ask Lu Han himself, but his dad stops him. Only when the seatbelt sign goes off does he let Minseok, still holding his pillow, clamber over him to the aisle. He squeezes in front of his mom’s legs and asks the still sobbing Lu Han, “What’s wrong?”

Lu Han is saying something, but Minseok can’t understand the words. He tries for a little longer, but he’s still lost, so finally he just holds his pillow out to Lu Han. “Here.”

Lu Han stops talking abruptly, though there are still tears running down his cheeks and his lower lip is trembling. “You shouldn’t be scared,” Minseok tells him firmly. “Look, he’s not scared.” He waves the pillow from side to side in a silly dance, which gets a shaky smile from Lu Han. “You can hold him if you want. Then you won’t be scared either.”

Slowly, like he’s not sure he understood correctly, Lu Han takes the pillow from Minseok’s hands, turning it so the face is toward Minseok and hugging it to his chest. He wipes his eyes with one hand before bringing it back to hold the pillow tightly. Minseok pokes it in the nose like Lu Han did before, and Lu Han smiles, much less shaky now. His mom says something to him that sounds like gibberish, and then Lu Han says, “Thank you” in Korean.

“You’re welcome,” Minseok responds politely.

In the end, Minseok switches seats with his mother and spends the rest of the flight playing games with Lu Han. They’re having so much fun that it goes by quickly. They have to stop playing for landing and Lu Han looks like he might cry again, but he clutches Minseok’s pillow in a death grip and holds himself together. Only once they’re safely on the ground does he hand the pillow back to Minseok. “You’re right,” he says with a big smile, now that it’s all over. “I wasn’t scared.”

They wave goodbye enthusiastically when they part ways to go through customs. As they wait in line, Minseok’s mom tells him, “That was very nice of you to share your pillow. I know you don’t like to travel without it.” She pats him on the shoulder, and the praise makes Minseok feel good.

“I think he needed it,” he says. “I didn’t. I’m not scared of anything.”

His mom smiles and gives him a quick side hug. “No, dear, I guess you’re not.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this picture](http://40.media.tumblr.com/6f0ef2f21640ceff6e9f4a33aae5f972/tumblr_mvqsnaeyiw1qghjero1_1280.jpg). PG-13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** mostly hypothetical homophobia

Nobody’s supposed to know about them. Minseok thinks his friends would probably take it okay, even though he’s never told them that he’s gay. They’re good friends, accepting. His family, too, would probably be supportive. In their quiet, unspoken way, they’ve always supported him no matter what. He’s not worried about them, but he doesn’t delude himself into thinking everyone would respond so well.

That’s part of the reason they haven’t told anyone, because Lu Han knows for a fact his parents won’t take it well. “I got caught kissing a boy my last year of high school,” he told Minseok just after they got together, with a casual tone but sadness in his eyes. “My parents were furious, but I’m still not sure if it’s because I kissed a boy or just because I got caught and embarrassed them. They almost didn’t let me come to Korea after that, but…” He laughs with barely a hint of bitterness; Lu Han’s not the type to be bitter. “I think they knew Korea’s not exactly gay friendly. Maybe they thought it’d straighten me out.”

Minseok laughed and said, “Apparently not,” before giving Lu Han a kiss. They haven’t talked about it since, but Minseok still remembers the sadness that lingered in Lu Han’s eyes long after they’d moved on to other topics. He doesn’t mind keeping their relationship secret if it’ll keep Lu Han from being sad like that.

What he doesn’t realize—what neither of them realizes—is that the “secret” is written all over their faces, that they don’t need to tell anyone that they’re together because it’s too easy to read in the way Lu Han looks at Minseok like he’s the most amazing thing in the world and the way Minseok unconsciously smiles at Lu Han, soft and loving. Maybe the touching, the way they spend all their time together could be written off as just good friendship, but their expressions give them away even if their words don’t.

Their friends (in a conspiracy unknown to Minseok or Lu Han) let them keep their delusions of secrecy, laughing when they’re not around and taking bets on when they’ll break the news or whether they’ll slip up and give it away by accident. Thanks to that, Minseok still thinks they’re being subtle when he invites Lu Han home for Chuseok after they’ve been together almost a year. Lu Han is on his best behavior, nervous around Minseok’s family, so he doesn’t say much of anything, let alone anything that would give them away

It’s only on their last day there, while Lu Han is in the shower, that Minseok’s sister asks him, “Hey, oppa, do you have a girlfriend?”

It seems totally out of the blue, so Minseok gives her a funny look. “No. Why?”

She hesitates for just a moment before asking, “Do you have a boyfriend?”

That gets Minseok’s full attention. “I, um—what?”

“A boyfriend who happens to be staying with us right now?” She smiles teasingly, hesitation gone.

It makes Minseok nervous to talk about this, but it’s easier to relax when she’s acting like it’s not a big deal at all. “How did you know?”

That gets a laugh. “You’re way more obvious than you think you are. Both of you.”

Minseok winces. “That bad? Do Mom and Dad know too?”

His sister grins at him. “They brought it up, actually. ‘Has your brother said anything to you…?’” Off Minseok’s worried expression, she hurriedly adds, “They’re fine with it. I asked and they said that Lu Han-oppa seems like a good guy and as long as you’re happy, it’s okay. I agree.”

It’s embarrassing, talking to his little sister about this kind of thing, but it feels good to hear that. “Thanks,” he says.

He’s saved from any further discussion by Lu Han coming back to the room, toweling his hair dry. His sister grins at him before leaving them alone. She closes the door behind her, and Minseok turns to Lu Han. “Apparently we’re so obvious that even my parents realized we’re together.”

“What?” Lu Han bursts out, eyes wide.

“Relax, it’s okay. They don’t mind. But I guess we’re not as sneaky as we think we are.” Minseok waves Lu Han closer and gives him a quick kiss, relieved to see Lu Han’s worry quickly fade away. “It’s probably because of the way you stare at me.” Lu Han is, in fact, staring at him right now, which does nothing to disprove Minseok’s point. It makes him smile, because the intensity of Lu Han’s focus on him made him uncomfortable at first, but he’s come to love it.

“Sorry,” Lu Han says, sounding not sorry at all. “I can’t help it.”

Minseok grins and gives him another kiss. “That’s okay. I don’t mind either.”

 

(They finally tell their friends a month later, and no sooner have they said their piece than Baekhyun throws his hands up in a victorious gesture and yells, “I win!” Minseok pummels him with a pillow once he explains the bet, only hitting harder when Baekhyun points out that Lu Han is watching him with that same loving look that gave everything away.

 

They’ve been together four full years before Lu Han tells his parents. He closes himself in the bedroom to talk to them alone and Minseok waits nervously outside. After what seems like forever, Lu Han opens the door. He looks tired, but he’s smiling. “Can you come in? They want to talk to you.”

Minseok’s Chinese is limited to “thank you,” “I love you,” curses he’s picked up from Lu Han and dirty expressions Yixing taught him to use on Lu Han, so he just smiles and bobs his head in greeting. Lu Han’s father says something, and Lu Han turns to Minseok. “He said thank you for taking care of me, and please…keep doing it.”

Lu Han still looks nervous, so Minseok smiles comfortingly at him before he turns back to Lu Han’s parents. He nods and says, “I will” in Korean.

Lu Han’s mother says something then. Chinese always sounds a little angry to Minseok, but he doesn’t think she is. Maybe teasing, even. Minseok looks to Lu Han for a translation, but he shakes his head. “It’s nothing.” His ears are turning red the way they do when he’s really embarrassed so Minseok knows that’s not true, but he doesn’t push.

Only after they’ve hung up does Lu Han reluctantly explain, “She said that they can’t object to us being together when it’s easy to see how much I love you and you love me.”

“I guess maybe it’s a good thing we’re so obvious,” Minseok says dryly.

Lu Han laughs as he looks at Minseok with that loving expression that’s only gotten stronger over the years. “I guess it is.”)


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this gif](http://31.media.tumblr.com/cdfb154a0707877d8a2c17e772b96718/tumblr_ncgmp5bjQ21qcvbw5o1_500.gif). PG.

Minseok has resolved to smile. They all did, and he’s going to stick to that no matter what. The fans deserve better and Lu Han deserves better, and really, Minseok does too. He deserves to have one last good concert with his friend, one more fun night before everything gets messy all over again and who knows what’ll happen with M, with EXO in general. They’ll get through this, he’s pretty sure, but it won’t be easy, and it won’t be fun, and so they deserve this happy moment to hold onto.

Minseok’s not _happy_ about the situation. How could he be, when his best friend in EXO is leaving, his last fellow 90-liner? How could he be happy when they’re losing another member just when they got back on their feet? But he can’t be mad at Lu Han, not when he sees how hard he’s pushing himself just to get through these two concerts, not when he saw the tears Lu Han blinked away as he explained the situation, blaming them on his eye problems, pretending as he apologized for hurting them that it didn’t hurt him too.

So Minseok’s not happy, but he’s accepted it as much as he can, resigned himself to dealing with the aftermath, to holding strong for the younger members who are losing their second hyung in the space of a year and won’t know what to do if Minseok crumples too. And for tonight, at least, he’s resolved not to think about the future, only to put on a good show and enjoy it like it’s any other night, not an ending of sorts.

It’s a good concert, the fans enthusiastic, the members smiling and laughing and putting their all into it. There are moments that are not so good, moments when reality encroaches in the form of someone’s smile slipping or Lu Han wobbling on his feet, but overall, Minseok enjoys himself. Overall, he thinks they accomplish what they set out to do, to make it a night that they and Lu Han and the fans most of all will be able to remember fondly in spite of what’s to come.

It doesn’t feel like goodbye when they leave Lu Han in Beijing, though they know at this point that it probably will be. Not completely, and not forever, hopefully, but it’s goodbye to having Lu Han around all the time, goodbye to Luhan of EXO and everything that entails. For all of them, maybe, but definitely for the Korean members, it’s goodbye to standing on a stage together. After all this time together, it’s too much for Minseok to wrap his head around.

It still doesn’t feel real when news of the lawsuit breaks and the furor starts again, or when word comes down from on high that they’re not supposed to talk about Lu Han. Minseok supposes it’s better than being told they need to speak against him, but mostly he’s glad that he never talks much anyway. He needs time to find new things to say that aren’t “I play soccer with Lu Han, Lu Han and I like coffee, Lu Han helps me with Chinese, Lu Han Lu Han Lu Han.” He’s sure he’s said other things in interviews before, but suddenly that’s all that comes to mind.

Maybe it finally feels real when they stand on the stage in Japan, putting on almost the same concert except that there’s no Lu Han, the songs rearranged and the dance formations shifted so there’s no space where he used to be. There’s no Lu Han running over to play with Minseok or grinning at him during their fake kiss. There are still nine other members around Minseok, but the stage still feels a little empty. He still smiles, still has a genuinely good time, but this is going to take some getting used to.

From his hotel room that night, Minseok texts Lu Han, _I hate to tell you, but Jongdae’s a better fake kisser than you._

Ten minutes pass without a reply, long enough for Minseok to regret the joke even though Lu Han might just have not seen it yet. Then, at last, the reply comes. _That’s okay. I’m a better real kisser._

_I’ll believe that,_ Minseok texts back with a winking face, remembering the show they put on for Lu Han’s last night.

_You’d better,_ Lu Han replies.

Minseok smiles to himself, but it sucks because instead of Lu Han sitting on the next bed while they laugh together, he’s all in the way in China, and because Minseok still hasn’t figured out if this is okay, talking to Lu Han about EXO, joking around like it doesn’t hurt that he’s gone. It sucks because this is the way it is now, and it’s not going to change. It’s never going to go back to the way it was.

His phone buzzes again and Minseok looks at Lu Han’s new message. _You’re not going to forget about me just because Jongdae’s so good at fake kissing, are you?_

He stares at the text for too long, wondering if it means more than it says. Knowing Lu Han, knowing the messy situation they’re in that they’re both still finding out how to deal with, it probably does. Still, regardless of whether Lu Han is asking if Minseok will forget his fake kisses, the experiences they shared while in EXO, that he was a part of the group, or him in general, it’s an easy question for Minseok to answer.

_Never._


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this gifset](http://fyxiuhan.tumblr.com/post/71554028954). PG.

Lu Han can’t stand to watch himself in romance movies. Action is okay, even comedy that a lot of people would be embarrassed by, but he can’t deal with romance. Too bad for him that he’s a popular romantic lead these days, so he really can’t avoid it, one movie after another of him flirting with beautiful women far more smoothly than he could ever manage in real life.

Minseok finds it hilarious, less Lu Han on screen (because even if he knows how unrealistic it is, he doesn’t so much mind seeing Lu Han being all charming and seductive) than Lu Han’s reactions. He gets endless entertainment from seeing Lu Han laugh, cringe, even gag as he watches himself spout cheesy romantic lines on screen.

Lu Han tries to restrain himself at premieres, where it wouldn’t look good for the star to be disgusted by the movie, and he mostly succeeds. (Not always, but China is so in love with Lu Han that they just find it cute when he fails.) In private, though, Minseok insists they watch every movie Lu Han’s in once, no matter what it is, and Lu Han doesn’t restrain himself at all. Minseok loves his over-the-top reactions, loves the way he buries his face in Minseok’s neck to hide when he knows a particularly romantic scene is coming up.

Lu Han whines, but he makes the mistake of confessing once that he kind of enjoys it too, not watching the movie himself, but the way Minseok watches his reactions, and the way it makes Minseok laugh. Naturally, Minseok, loving boyfriend that he is, takes every opportunity to remind Lu Han of that if he tries to object to watching a new movie.

They always joke about it, but Lu Han asks, just once, if Minseok doesn’t ever wish they had a more romantic relationship, if he doesn’t wish that Lu Han was a little more like the characters he plays, putting his feelings into beautiful words. Minseok thinks about it for barely a second before he shrugs. “We don’t need that.” Then, with a considering look at Lu Han, “Do we?”

“No,” Lu Han says hastily. When Minseok gives him a stern ‘don’t lie to me’ look, he insists, “We don’t. I just…was thinking about it, that’s all.”

“Do you want me to say sappy romantic things to you?” Minseok moves a little closer to Lu Han, not entirely sure if he’s teasing or not at this point. “I can.” He looks Lu Han right in the eye. “I love you more than anything.”

It’s not like Minseok to say these things, and he’s kind of embarrassed, but it’s worth it for the way Lu Han squirms. “Stop teasing me,” he grumbles.

“I’m not teasing you,” Minseok persists, keeping his voice steady and not looking away. “It’s the truth. I love you and I think I’m very lucky to have you.” Lu Han looks torn between being happy and wanting to curl up and die of embarrassment, which pushes Minseok to continue, “You should know how precious you are to me.” Lu Han lets out a nervous giggle and Minseok smiles. “Okay, maybe I am teasing you, but I still mean every word.”

He looks at Lu Han, and for a long moment, they just stare at each other like that, Lu Han looking pleased and self-conscious and affectionate all at the same time. Finally, Lu Han says, soft and serious, “I love you too. I…yes. All of that.” Then he grimaces and adds, “Let’s never do this again.”

Minseok laughs loudly, then leans in to give Lu Han a kiss, grinning when he pulls away. “All right. But don’t forget it, okay?”

Lu Han’s laughing too, but his eyes are shining the way they often do, warm and happy, and Minseok knows he’s sincere when he says, “I won’t.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this gif](http://38.media.tumblr.com/316d4ec336f70336f5e0803bbf23162a/tumblr_nhed581HGC1s3z68no3_500.gif). PG.

Lu Han has 2134 pictures on his phone and 1102 of them are of Minseok. (He knows the exact number since he finally gave in and made an album just for pictures of Minseok.) Some are Minseok alone, some with friends, some in a crowd, and a couple of selfies with Lu Han, but he has far more pictures of Minseok than he does of anyone else.

Minseok used to try to thwart his attempts at taking pictures, turning away or covering his face or just grabbing Lu Han’s arm to stop him. Failing that, he’d complain. “Why do you need so many pictures of me anyway? I’m right here.”

“Exactly,” Lu Han answered. “With that perfection in front of me, how could I not want to capture it?”

Minseok laughed and told him to never use that line on anyone for real, but the thing was that it wasn’t a line. Exaggerated, maybe, but he really couldn’t help feeling, when he looked at Minseok, that he was something special that should be captured and saved forever, something Lu Han would like to keep with him always.

These days, Minseok usually just laughs or makes a silly face and lets Lu Han take pictures as he pleases. Lu Han wonders if he still would if he knew the way Lu Han looks back at old pictures, smiling at Minseok’s cheerful or weird or even angry faces. He wonders how Minseok would react if he knew that the reason Lu Han takes all those pictures is that he thinks Minseok’s amazing, practically perfect, and that he looks at him in a way friends aren’t supposed to.

The scary thing is that he has no idea how Minseok would react, so even though he can talk to Minseok about anything else, Lu Han keeps that to himself. He’d rather be friends with Minseok and just smile wistfully at pictures of him than risk scaring him off & being nothing at all. Just having the Minseok around is enough.

They’re hanging out in Minseok’s apartment one day when Lu Han pulls out his phone to take picture 2135, yet another one of Minseok. He’s not doing anything special, just watching TV, but he’s started weight training recently and Lu Han can’t help noticing how nice his growing arm muscles look in the tank top he’s wearing. He’s leaning off the couch to get a better angle when suddenly Minseok snatches the phone out of his hands.

Lu Han grabs for it but only manages to fall off the couch as Minseok jumps away. “I should see what you’ve got on here,” he says, poking curiously at the screen. “Maybe some good blackmail material.”

“Give it back,” Lu Han whines, scrambling to his feet. He doesn’t have anything really incriminating that he can think of, but he doesn’t want Minseok to see all those pictures. He needs to get his phone back.

Unfortunately, Minseok’s dangerous when he’s in a playful mood. Lu Han catches his arm, but he pulls free and scurries away. Then Lu Han chases him around the apartment, but Minseok runs for the bathroom and locks himself in. “Give me my phone!” Lu Han demands, banging on the door.

“I will when I’m done,” Minseok stubbornly responds.

If it were anyone else, Lu Han would keep pounding on the door, throwing out every insult and threat he could think of until he got his phone back, but Lu Han is weak against Minseok, so he only sighs and sinks down next to the door. Minseok, realizing he’s won, starts to make comments loud enough for Lu Han to hear. “Oh my,” he trills, and, “That’s interesting.”

“I hate you,” Lu Han whines, but Minseok ignores him. He knows perfectly well that it’s a lie.

After a minute or two, Minseok goes quiet, which is a lot scarier than his comments. “Minseok?” Lu Han asks hesitantly, but he gets no answer. Heaving another sigh, he gets up and goes back to the couch to await his fate.

When Minseok emerges from the bathroom, he’s not laughing. Lu Han watches him walk over and tries not to panic, wondering what he could have seen to make him look so serious. Is it the pictures? Was there something else Lu Han forgot he had on there?

Minseok sits on the couch and silently hands Lu Han his phone, which he takes and puts in his pocket. Then he waits nervously until Minseok finally says, “You really kept all those pictures of me.”

“You thought I didn’t?” Lu Han asks, confused.

“I thought you were just messing around,” Minseok explains. “That you liked seeing me get flustered when you shoved a camera in my face. But there were so many still on your phone, ones I don’t even remember you taking.”

He’s speaking quietly, no particular inflection, and Lu Han doesn’t know what to think, his mind racing to the worst possibilities. “I’m sorry.” When Minseok doesn’t immediately tell him not to be, he barrels on, “I’ll delete them if you want me to. I wasn’t trying to be creepy or anything. I just, I thought they were nice and I didn't—”

He doesn’t get any farther because suddenly Minseok’s lips are on his and his brain screeches to a halt. Even when Minseok pulls away, he can’t do anything but stare blankly at him, trying to process what’s happening. “Did you know I’ve spent the last…I don’t even know, probably six months, trying to convince myself that you weren’t really flirting with me and I should stop assuming too much just because I wished you would?”

“W-what?” Lu Han stammers, still staring.

“I wanted you to be flirting with me, but I was sure you weren’t.” Minseok looks steadily back at him, but his hands fidgeting in his lap betray his nervousness.

“I…” Lu Han pauses and frowns, gathering himself. When he trusts his voice, he says, “Did you know I’ve spent the last…more than six months, I’m sure, flirting with you and wishing you’d realize it and flirt back?” By the end of the sentence, Minseok starts to smile, and Lu Han relaxes and smiles back.

“So what you’re saying is that we’re idiots who could’ve been spending the last six months or more flirting with each other instead of just wishing?” Minseok says dryly.

“Or more than flirting,” Lu Han says ruefully. Maybe he should be annoyed, but mostly he’s just a little embarrassed, a little more amused, and very happy.

“Well,” Minseok says with a grin, “we’ll just have to make up for lost time now, right?”

“Right,” Lu Han agrees distractedly as Minseok starts to lean in for another kiss.

It’s just a brief kiss, and then another, and then Minseok smiles up close and it’s so perfect that Lu Han really would like to take a picture and capture the Minseok in this moment forever. He’s reaching for his phone before he even realizes he’s doing it, but Minseok catches his wrist and holds his hand still. “Later,” he murmurs, so close that his lips are almost brushing Lu Han’s as he talks. “You can take all the pictures you want later, but for now, let’s enjoy this.”

So Lu Han does, letting Minseok kiss him and kiss him and not stop, wrapping his arms tight around Minseok like he doesn’t even need a picture to keep him here forever. Only much later when they finally break apart does he pull out his phone. Minseok’s cheeks are flushed, his lips kiss swollen and pink, his hair rumpled from Lu Han’s hands, and Lu Han thinks he looks amazing, but Minseok makes a face when he points the camera at him. “Do you really have to?”

“You said I could,” Lu Han reminds him. “And yes, I really do have to. I can’t resist you.”

Minseok rolls his eyes but obliges, making mock flirty faces at the camera, blowing Lu Han a kiss. Lu Han thinks it’s cute, but the one he likes best is the last, when Minseok drops the act and just laughs, full and unrestrained. It’s probably not, objectively speaking, the most flattering picture of the bunch, but that, Lu Han thinks, is the Minseok that he’d like to keep in his photo album and by his side forever.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [these](http://40.media.tumblr.com/c91ca15faeb1448697426eb1afb69fad/tumblr_nakkzxfL2f1rypxkgo3_1280.jpg) [pictures](http://40.media.tumblr.com/9688538296ac2a72a67cbff8439863b5/tumblr_nakkzxfL2f1rypxkgo1_1280.jpg). PG-13.

Minseok wonders what the hell he was thinking when he arrives in Germany. The country itself is so foreign to him, and his study abroad program includes students from all over the world except Korea. Neither his German nor his English are good enough to talk to the other students, and he’s afraid he’s going to be all alone. He wanted to broaden his horizons by coming to a new place, but he just feels lost with nothing familiar to anchor him.

Then he meets Lu Han, who is Chinese but speaks enough Korean for them to get by and seems to really want to be Minseok’s friend. In spite of their limited linguistic overlap and different personalities, Lu Han and Minseok become fast friends. In time, Minseok manages to talk to the other students more and make some good friends, but Lu Han is still the closest one he has here. They do homework together, eat together, play soccer in the park together, and even travel around the country together during their vacations.

Lu Han spends an awful lot of time with Minseok, but there are other people clamoring for his attention. The first time he gets asked out is only a month in, by a drunk German girl in a bar they go to. She speaks to Lu Han in English that’s beyond Minseok’s grasp, but he can guess from how red Lu Han’s ears are turning what it’s about.

He tunes out and misses what Lu Han blurts out as she moves closer to him, but he’s forced to pay attention when Lu Han suddenly grabs his arm and practically yelps, “I have a boyfriend!” Several heads turn, but it’s no one they know, so Minseok doesn’t care. He’s just amused, trying to keep a straight face as the German girl frowns at them. After a few long moments, she shrugs and says something in German before going on her way.

“Sorry,” Lu Han says, releasing Minseok’s arm once she’s gone. “I didn’t know what to do.”

“It’s okay. You’re bad with girls, huh?” Minseok says dryly. Lu Han doesn’t laugh, just nods, and Minseok smiles at him. “That’s okay. Me too.”

It doesn’t matter for Minseok since he’s not popular with either the local population or the girls in their program, but Lu Han gets asked out or just propositioned four more times by the six-month mark. He manages to reject them all without lying about being gay, but he’s more than a little awkward about it.

It’s not until girl number six asks him out a few weeks later than Minseok asks, “You’re really not interested in any of them? Not your type?”

“No.” Lu Han’s answer is serious, almost sad, and Minseok is confused. He’s looking at Lu Han, brow furrowed, trying to decide what to even ask, when Lu Han sighs heavily. “I’m not interested in girls,” he quietly elaborates.

“Oh!” It comes out too loud and Minseok winces. “I mean…I guess I should’ve thought of that.”

Lu Han shrugs, not meeting Minseok’s eyes. “Most people don’t. At least not where I’m from.”

“Not where I’m from either,” Minseok concedes. “But hey, it’s different here, right? I bet if you went to the right places, you could find someone who is your type.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Lu Han agrees, and he smiles, but somehow it still looks a little sad.

That’s how Minseok ends up exploring Berlin’s gay nightlife with Lu Han. It’s definitely not the kind of broadening his horizons he expected to do in Germany, but it feels like a fun adventure. It turns out that he’s more popular with German men than women, and he rejects quite a few offers. “Not your type?” Lu Han jokes after one of those.

Minseok laughs, but then a realization trickles into his alcohol-clouded mind that he can’t say that definitively, across the board, not the way Lu Han said he’s not interested in girls. He’s never really considered the possibility, but could it be that he’d be interested if the right guy came along? Maybe the thought should bother him, but Minseok’s always been a pretty laidback guy and this doesn’t seem like such a big deal. If he can accept that Lu Han likes guys, why should it matter if he does?

“What?” Lu Han asks when he gets lost in his thoughts for too long.

“He wasn’t my type,” Minseok explains, “but the right guy might be.” Lu Han’s eyes go wide, but Minseok just grabs his arm to pull him toward the bar. “Come on, let’s get another drink and see who else is out there.”

Minseok doesn’t find anyone, but he’s not really looking, content to just think about this revelation for now. The strange thing is that Lu Han doesn’t find anyone either, even after more than two months and several prospects. “Are you not interested in any of the guys here either?” Minseok asks one night after Lu Han blatantly turns away from a guy who’s trying to catch his eye.

“I, um…” He’s surprised to see Lu Han blush. “No, not really,” he finishes, doing nothing to explain his reaction.

“Then who _is_ your type?” Minseok asks.

The last thing he’s expecting is for Lu Han to blurt out, “You are.” Lu Han’s jaw drops like he’s as surprised at his words at Minseok is, and he can’t seem to think of any follow-up.

“Me?” Minseok asks after an awkwardly long silence. He’s still trying to process Lu Han’s confession, feeling like the world has tilted on its axis. Has he been missing this all along, since Lu Han pretended Minseok was his boyfriend, or even since he approached him in the first place?

“I’m sorry,” Lu Han finally manages. “I didn’t want to make things awkward between us so I didn’t say anything and we can just forget about it but I hope you won’t stop being my friend because I really—”

Then Lu Han stops talking abruptly because Minseok leans over and kisses him. He should probably think about it more first, but when it comes down to it, would he have spent months hanging out in gay bars with Lu Han if he wasn’t attracted to him too? Just because he was too stupid to get it doesn’t mean it wasn’t there all along.

Lu Han goes still in shock, but he recovers very quickly and kisses Minseok back without restraint. That’s a good confirmation, because Minseok never kissed a guy before, but he likes kissing Lu Han. They keep it up for a good long time, and when they finally break apart, Lu Han looks happily dazed. “You…”

“I guess you’re my type,” Minseok says with an easy laugh. “Sorry it took me so long to realize that.”

“It’s okay.” The shock has faded from Lu Han’s expression and he just looks incredibly happy.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Minseok promises, leaning in for another kiss. He doesn’t know what that’ll mean, doesn’t know what’ll happen now that he’s opened himself to things he never imagined he would when he first came to Germany, but he’s looking forward to figuring it out.


End file.
